It’s raining

Okay, I am going to talk about something that I wasn’t sure I wanted to share. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I don’t think anyone but my husband would know. I continue to function as normal on the outside. I do what I have to do. I think being a parent to special needs children makes it a little more likely to recur. I’m not sure about others but there are a lot of things we just don’t do, places we don’t go because my daughter just handle the stimuli. I used to try to just do what we normally would and figured she would have to just deal with it. I had the advice of a family member ringing in my ear from a few years ago-  “I never let my kids behavior dictate what we did, they just had to deal with it.” I thought this was what being a good parent was. Don’t spoil them! Don’t let them control the family! But let me tell you, when you have a child with add, spd and possibly on the spectrum, ignoring their neurodevelopmental differences and forcing activities that are difficult for them to handle is a sure fire way to ruin everyone’s day and come home with guilt, anger and sadness.
Anyway, one way I deal with depressive episodes is to go do things, be active. But my parenting experience is so isolating right now, that’s just not possible. I tried going to a Bible study weekly, but since we homeschool that meant my 14 yr old would babysit my 9 year old. Lately her behavior has gotten to the point where he just can’t watch her sometimes. So, no more Bible study. We tried organized activities, church, sports lessons, but she just couldn’t handle it. Would dread going and/or end up in tears.
So, limited activities plus depression is tough. I will get through, I always do. Lots of prayer and the assurance that this is just a season. Thanks for listening.

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