Well, this week was my first week of seminary. It has been wonderful! I am attending online at Regent University and I am just so impressed with them. My first two classes are geared towards getting to know the school and my faith. They have me building a portfolio of where I have been and where I feel God leading. There is constant emphasis on listening to the Holy Spirit. How refreshing!
One of my first assignments was to do a mini personal retreat. I was to go somewhere quiet, by myself, pray and reflect on some questions and listen to the Holy Spirit, then I was to write down what I felt He was saying.
I had a doctors appointment yesterday an hour away from home so I decided to stop at this bench overlooking the city after my appt to do my retreat.
When I arrived, there were 2 benches and a picnic table. The picnic table was taken as was the bench that had the best view. There was one bench left over to the right with a tree obscuring part of the view. I went ahead and sat down and began to reflect and pray. After about 15 min. the person at the center bench left and I contemplated moving over to it so I would have the better view. But something said to me, "This is where God placed me, so I will stay!" I continued to pray and reflect when I noticed it was starting to rain just a bit. I looked around and realized that because I was under the tree, I was able to keep dry and continue my retreat time. Had I moved to that center bench, I would have gotten quite wet!
I smiled and realized that God was teaching me that I was right where I needed to be. I realized that even though we sometimes think we know better. God always knows best if we will just listen! =)

I am so loving being in the word and God every day. With seminary I am kind of forced to do that to complete all of my assignments etc. It is such a blessing and bringing such joy to me. I wish I had taken the time to spend this much time contemplating His word before.

First day of seminary selfie!

Getting ready

Hello! Here I am, just a few days away from starting seminary. I can't help but wonder if there is any significance to the fact that I start seminary on the day of the eclipse. I'll have to think about that one. =)
I have been spending the past few days trying to get my house in order. Getting caught up on cleaning, organizing etc. Adding in school is going to require a bit of juggling on my part. I have a detailed schedule and I am trying to set up clear times for homeschool, seminary, house cleaning etc.
I am confident though that if I keep God at the center of everything, things will stay in balance.

I had a bit of a scare yesterday. Right now, I am in the process of having my 2 year cancer follow up. This can be a tough time. It consists of have blood drawn to check for things that will only be present if my cancer is back and an ultrasound of my neck to check for lymph nodes that would be enlarged if they cancer is back.
Well, I had a call from a nurse on a different issue yesterday and while I was on the phone with her I asked her if my cancer marker labs were back. She looked and told me some numbers that were just above zero. I asked if she was sure and she said yes.
Oh boy, I had a few hours of fear. Contemplating what it meant that it looked like cancer may be growing again in my body. I prayed and talked to God.

Then I put a call in to my endocrinologist to verify what this means. She called me back and told me yes the results were back and all looked good! I asked her to clarify and told her what the nurse had told me. Well, the nurse had misinterpreted the information. All of my markers were undetectable still! WOW! I was so happy. Relieved! Thankful! So, then it took me a bit to process this change in circumstances.
Now, I still have my ultrasound this next Wednesday to get through. I am a little nervous, but having visited the possibilities already, I know that with the Lord's help I can get through anything!

So that is it! A few days away from beginning seminary and getting myself organized!

going home today.....

So, here it is. The last day of vacation. We go home today. I have second guessed my last post several times. Should I have written it? Do I sound like a horrible mom? But, it is how I felt. And I want to be truthful. Overall, we have had a nice time. I just have to remember that we are who we are. I can't try to force my kids to be someone they aren't.

I have fallen in to the trap of thinking that if my children have problems, anxiety, developmental issues it must mean I am doing something wrong. But they just are who they are. I have to work with their personalities and strengths, not try to force them to do what I want.

Yesterday we went down to the historic part of Newport. We had purchased a groupon for visits to 3 museums down there. A wax museum, Ripleys Believe it or Not museum and Undersea Gardens. I had prepped my daughter with the fact that there may be something that scares her in one of these museums, and if she wanted to just close her eyes it would be okay and I would lead her through the part. Well, we got into the door of the wax museum, she saw something move and it was all over. She wanted to leave. I tried to convince her it would be okay, but then I honored her wishes. My husband and I took turns with our son going through the first two museums, while we all went into Undersea Gardens. THAT she liked. =) Instead of pushing and ending up with a meltdown, we worked with it.

I guess that is what it is all about. Learning who we are and how to play to our strengths.

So, we have had a lovely time. It was so nice to get away. And I feel like a trip to the ocean was just what I needed to be reminded of how BIG my God is and how BIG His love is. =)

Being a special needs mom is hard....a vent

Well, in my last post I mentioned that we are at the beach for a week get away. In my mind, when looking forward to getting away to the beach I envision sitting on the beach, watching the ocean, reading a book, relaxing, hearing from God....peace.....quiet...

What reality is......my oldest son, with dyspraxia, ADHD, tourettes talking very loudly, all the time, very enthusiastically, various tic's going off at different times, constantly wanting to go somewhere! My daughter with dyspraxia, spd, ADHD struggling to manage being in a new environment. Not able to sleep the first night, up at 4 am. Crying on the beach because the water is too cold, the sand feels great for awhile, until it is just  too much.

Wanting to go to the gift shops and stroll through looking at cute items, picking up a few souvenirs.

What reality is.....frustration when my daughter can't find what she wants, tears when I remind her not to spend all of her money, inability to make up her mind, more tears....LOUD tears when she can't make up her mind.

Looking forward to a fun day going to an aquarium, then maybe to a beach, or out to lunch.

Reality is.....Trip to the aquarium pretty much overwhelmed my daughter with all of the sensory input, resulting in a very tearful struggle to the gift shop again and a meltdown as were were leaving. Had to go immediately back to the hotel for lunch and quiet time before we can even think about doing anything else!

Don't get me wrong, I love my children. I really do. It just becomes exhausting having to walk on tip toes everywhere we go not knowing when the next meltdown will happen. Not being able to make plans, NEVER having any QUIET!
We have had many fun times interspersed amid the chaos. Times of awe as they touched the star fish. Fun conversations in the car about the ocean and sea life. Fun dinner together, eating chinese takeout in the hotel.

It's just getting used to the chaos and having to be prepared at all times for possible meltdowns. Always having to have a contingency plan. Always have to pre plan carefully ....... is exhausting!

Just surfing the web and I found this amazing article!

It really gave me hope and a new perspective. =)

The beach!

Oh how I LOVE the beach! Today we are packing up and driving to the Oregon Coast to stay for a week. We all need it so badly. What is it about the beach? My husband and I were just talking about how refreshing and renewing it is. When I look back on my life, I can see that during some of my most joyous and sorrowful times I went to the beach.
When my husband and I were dating we spent time at the coast. On our honeymoon, we went to the coast. When I was newly pregnant with our first child together and they were unable to find a heart beat, and we were waiting 2 weeks to get rescanned.....I went to the beach. (By the way, that heartbeat was there after 2 weeks and he is 13 now.) God met me there! I remember clearly standing in the sand at night, looking up at the moon and feeling God with me, comforting me.
When I had cancer 2 years ago, had been through two surgeries and radiation, I went to the beach to regain strength before picking back up with my life.
And now, on the dawn of going to seminary. Beginning a new chapter of my life I am headed to the beach. I know God will meet me there. I will pray, take time away from daily life and let Him minister to my soul.

Got my books ordered!

Image result for textbooksWow, Regent is making this whole process so easy! I just got an email with a voucher for my books. I was given a credit in the amount of $1000. It will come out of my financial aid refund, but it allows me to order my books now without having to take it out of my bank account.
So, I just ordered them and should have them in a week!

I am getting excited, but I am also nervous. Can I do this? I really have no idea what the courses will be like. How difficult will the course work be? How much reading will there be? How many papers?
I guess I will soon find out. I do know that if the Lord led me here, it will all work out and I will have what I need to get through. I  have been scouring the internet trying to find blogs, resources etc. from others who have done this.

Moving right along!

So, today I had an advising appointment on the phone. It went really well! The advisor walked me through all of the features online and explained how classes worked.
I also asked him about this thing I keep reading that one of the potential pitfalls of seminary is losing your faith. He was happy to answer my questions and reassured me that Regent takes all of this into consideration with their classes and professors. He told me that they address this in class as well.

We then went over the classes I would take. He made suggestions and explained how different schedules worked and what classes go well with what etc. One thing he told me that really made me excited was that for the residency portion, it can be an internship or a mission trip or something else. I love that there is flexibility there! He also said he went on a trip to the Holy land for his. How cool!

So, I am so excited to get started! I have to control my tendency to want to rush ahead and jump in!
There is still two and a half week to go!

Before that, I have to get the house in order and we are going to take a week trip to the beach! YAY!
A nice opportunity to relax before jumping in. =)


Had to share!

I just found this great blog post I wanted to share! 
It is a post over at She Worships called

Is that you Lord?

So, last week I was praying about God's will and whether this desire to go into ministry and become a missionary was His idea or mine. I asked for confirmation. Well, the next day I had to go on a several hour drive. I decided to listen to a podcast from Joyce Meyer.
I had no idea what it would be about.
Joyce started out by stating she was interviewing Joel Osteen's brother. As she began the interview she mentioned that he was involved in medical missions.......(what? this is what I want to do!)
Then as he began to speak he talked about the various paths God has taken him in his life and how it all worked together over the years to bring him to his current path of working as a surgeon and ministering to people in a third world country. He spoke of getting his medical training first and then being led to learn about the ministry part of things with his brother.
WOW! Out of all the things she could have spoke about in that podcast. Money, relationships, family, salvation on and on, she spoke about the one thing I had been praying about and asking for guidance and confirmation in.
Thank you Lord!

Hello and getting reacquainted!

Well hello there. I have been off the blogging thing for awhile but am ready to jump back in. I am on a new journey and I am so excited!
So, where I am right now.....well, I am mom to 6 kids, 2 step daughters who are grown, 2 biological kids who are grown and 2 kids who are 9 and 13 whom I home school.
I also have an amazing husband and I work weekends as a hospice nurse.
My day to day life consists of caring for my kids, keeping house, teaching home school, taking kids to various activities and trying to make sure I take care of myself through it all. Things can get hectic as both of my younger kids have some neuro developmental conditions. Both of my kids have dyspraxia and add. My son also has tourettes and dysgraphia and my daughter also has sensory processing disorder. As you can imagine, these things make life difficult  er...interesting.
The most of my adult life has been consumed by my kids and just dealing with what is right in front of me. I have yearned for more. I want to do more for the kingdom!

I have had a desire for missions in foreign lands for several years now. Every time they talk about a mission at church I start salivating.....=) I actually signed up once, ready to go, but in the end it just wasn't practical. I would have had to take money out of our household budget which would have made things tight and I would have had to leave my husband to take time off and be responsible for the kids while I was going, missing work.

But I feel God has put this in my heart for a reason! So, lately while I was contemplating going back to school for my masters degree I came across a Master in Divinity degree with a focus on intercultural studies. As I was reading it, it made so much sense! I had always thought when I went on a mission someday I would do so in the capacity as a nurse, a medical mission and throw some sharing of Christ in along with it as I went. But I was missing one important point. I have NO experience or background in missions from a ministry point. I know, many people go on missions with no degree and share their faith and it is AWESOME! God gives us what we need doesn't He? But as I was looking at this degree I felt a confirmation in my soul that this is what I should do!

Now there is much more to the story of course. My husband's parents both went to ministry school in their 40's. They just packed up the family and went! My husband has been prophesied over that he would have a healing ministry. But you know, life happened, kids, work, bills, etc. So he has a thriving career in manufacturing.
Lately, we are both feeling called. Like NOW is our time! We are hearing God's voice and seeing His messages daily! It is amazing!
So, I applied, enrolled in ministry school! I prayed and asked God to bless it if it is His will and things are going through so easily!
So, that is why I created this blog! Or revived it. I want to share as we go through this amazing journey. As I begin to delve deep into the word and learn through the Master of Divinity degree.
Stick around!
This is my inspiration. It is a photo of my husbands father ministering in Africa. =)